Dementia Help Survival Strategy - The Humorous Side
Wednesday, June 12, 2019
Apparently my mom was adamant that someone had stolen her pants. Out of sight on the other halt of the phone, I rolled me eyes. Someone stole her pants. How ridiculous, I thought.
Elaine Pereira |
By Elaine C. Pereira
Not to brand lite of retentivity loss issues in addition to exhaustive caregiver efforts to patiently redirect an agitated and/or bewildered individual, but dementia has a funny side too.
Some stories border on unbelievable were they non then real.
As a old caregiver, inward my illustration for my mom, I conduct keep experienced the gamut of emotions that accompanies talking to - operative give-and-take hither is "to" equally sometimes it is non a reciprocal talking "with" conversation - someone amongst meaning curt term retentivity loss.
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Many times I cringed equally Mom asked me to repeat something withal again, totally oblivious to the fact that she had already asked in addition to I had already answered the exact same enquiry a hundred times before; good non a hundred, but it for certain felt similar it - x for sure. It wasn't fifty-fifty then much that she couldn’t absorb the information, equally she was clueless to the fact she was recycling the same enquiry over in addition to over.
"My God, woman!" I idea to myself; fortunately the words rattled roughly inward my head, or perchance 1 or 2 leaked out from underneath my breath, but I did non tell them aloud! Not to her anyway. "Don't y'all recollect what I merely said?" I kept thinking.
Well no, genuinely she didn't in addition to therein was the employment inward the nutshell.
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As a coping strategy I considered getting a tape recorder in addition to merely hitting the playback push every fourth dimension Mom repeated a question, but I didn't. I merely dutifully answered it over in addition to over 1 time again in addition to popped the cork on a bottle of wine. (For me, non her, although either would conduct keep helped.)
I can't speak for everyone who is or has experienced dementia, but inward the early on stages Mom was merely savvy plenty at times to bluff her agency through uncertain situations.
Her "tell" was her laugh, a subdued but distinct chuckle. I knew it well. It was her signature telltale sign that she was pretending to sympathise in addition to procedure a conversation when inward fact she wasn't. It was ever accompanied yesteryear a grin in addition to a nod.
In fourth dimension though her charming avoidance response gave agency to to a greater extent than sinister in addition to paranoid behaviors. My commencement run across amongst her deteriorating persona was inward the outpouring of 2008.
The Brown Pants Caper: I received a telephone band from an employee at the senior complex where my mom lived. She explained that she was inward Mom's bird helping her “look for 2 duad of dark-brown pants” that Mom had reported missing. How strange, I thought.
Apparently my mom was adamant that someone had stolen her pants. Out of sight on the other halt of the phone, I rolled me eyes. Someone stole her pants. How ridiculous, I thought.
I rapidly visualized a masked thief, slithering into her 3rd flooring bird during the embrace of darkness to confiscate 2 duad of dark-brown pants. Mom had thousands of dollars of gilded in addition to gemstones in addition to someone stole pants! Absurd. I held dorsum my laughter, but within I was busting at the seams. Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 calendar week after when I visited her, I also rummaged through her cupboard looking for pants that weren't at that spot in addition to that I was for certain Mom had donated years before.
“I intend the cleaning ladies took them,” Mom insisted.
You’ve got to live on kidding Mom, I thought. Why would anybody accept size-four petite pants? I shook my caput repeatedly equally I simultaneously visualized either of the real tall or the short, overweight cleaning women swiping dark-brown slacks in addition to inconspicuously stuffing them into their carts. I had to suppress an inappropriate chuckle at that visualization also.
There were many other ludicrous "stolen items" reflective of Mom's deteriorating paranoia. Although reasonableness in addition to logical thinking were waning fast, humorous stories abounded.
Mom reported someone had stolen the houses-for-sale advertising department of the newspaper. She wasn't going to purchase a solid then what divergence did it brand if someone did accept it.
Someone else stole her boom file. Seriously, a boom file?
Then 1 twenty-four lx minutes menstruum I was met at the door, fifty-fifty earlier a "Hello," amongst "I had a slice of lint correct hither in addition to straight off it's gone." Mom punctuated her words yesteryear thumping the tabular array repeatedly amongst her finger. "Someone stole my lint." As difficult equally I tried, I couldn't suppress the giggles in addition to flare-up out laughing. Lint?
Lint. Stamps. Newspaper promotion insert. Old dark-brown pants. Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 Pair of shoes. Keys.
I'm for certain every identify unit of measurement member, every caregiver, every friend of every retentivity impaired somebody tin plow over the axe recount a story or 3 most something they said or did that was funny.
Hold onto those stories in addition to smile, equally they assist larn us through the harder times when our tolerance runs perilously sparse in addition to nosotros are faced amongst the sorry reality of what dementia is doing to our lived one.
Elaine C. Pereira is the writer of I Will Never Forget - Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 Daughter's Story of Her Mother's Arduous in addition to Humorous Journey Through Dementia, in addition to a finalist for the Best New Non-Fiction USA Book Awards & The Hollywood Book Festival.
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